You won’t find a college course or degree on the topic of “ending well”, yet it is as important a topic as anything at which we need to excel. In fact, I could make a good case that it should be at the top of our “to do” lists!
Our latter years of life will likely be the most remembered. Certainly, they will shape the most recent memories held by those we leave behind. Sadly, a life ended poorly can deteriorate years of positive influence and noteworthy accomplishment. Worst of all, a life not ended well can leave burdens on heirs that create enormous challenges.
To illustrate that point, I’ve witnessed several families suffer incredibly painful experiences because their loved one did not prepare well. Those experiences have included financial hardships that almost crippled the children of deceased parents. I’ve also watched relationships crumble, resulting in jealousy, dishonesty, resentment, and mistrust. All because there wasn’t proper preparation around the disbursements of assets.
Conversely, where there is thoughtful and sufficient preparation for the end of life, those left behind experience blessing, rather than trial, amid their sorrow. I have experienced this type of blessing personally, as my parents chose to bring my brother and me into the planning process years ahead of their passing. As a result, we were able to navigate our way through the loss of our parents without even the slightest hurt or disappointment. The added blessing is that it allowed me to walk through my own grieving process without the added weight of having to sort through unfinished tasks or unmade decisions. In short, it was a tremendous gift to me and my brother, as it served to simplify and lessen the difficulties that surround such loss. In fact, as we walked through that part of life together, it served to bring us closer relationally than we had previously been.
Planning Our Parting Gifts
Friends, at some point, each of our lives will end. While death will always bring sorrow, what a tremendous gift we can leave our friends and family when we intentionally prepare to end well. I believe there are several key areas in which such preparation is necessary. They can best be addressed in these five categories: Spiritual, Physical, Financial, Relational, and Practical.
Spiritual: This area is of utmost importance and begins by ensuring our hearts are right with and before God. Be free of holding onto any grudges, jealousies, or resentments. This requires choosing to forgive those who have hurt us and committing to apologize to those we have wronged. In summary, we will spiritually end well, when we’re able to pray Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God” (KJV), faithfully holding nothing back from God.
Physical: This area of our lives doesn’t have guarantees, but when given diligent attention, there are considerable probabilities. Friends, I Corinthians 6:19 tells us our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Just as God instructed the Israelites in the Old Testament in the care and upkeep of the Tabernacle, and later the Temple, isn’t our body, the place in which the Holy Spirit dwells, worthy of our care and stewardship? While caring for our bodies won’t guarantee the absence of physical suffering, data supports the tremendous benefits of proper nutrition, exercise, and rest. Unfortunately, when we fail to give these areas balanced attention, we can almost guarantee we will suffer the consequences. In addition to our own self-care, seeing our doctors regularly and completing the recommended preventative testing, will also contribute to how well we’ll do physically as we continue to age.
Financial: To the extent possible, endeavoring to become debt free is perhaps one of the best financial goals that supports ending well. While some debt, such as a mortgage or car loan may not be able to be paid off, eliminating all other debt is of tremendous benefit to you and those you leave behind. At a minimum, plan for and save the funds necessary to cover the expense of dying. For those who are sole providers, special care is also needed to ensure provision is made for young children who may be left behind. Before any practical decisions related to assets are made, however, seek to apply wisdom by making all your financial decisions with your “end goals” in mind. To that end, working with a financial planner, even in your early years, is highly advised.
Relational: Best stemming from your spiritual readiness, is your relational readiness to end life well. And please don’t wait until the “end” to address relational matters, for such foreknowledge is not guaranteed. Will you regularly ask yourself if your “slate” is clean with others? For example, have you pursued reconciliation where it may be needed or at least made a solid effort to do so? Have you told your family and closest friends that you love them? Have you spent meaningful time with those who’ve made a major investment in your life? In keeping with this blog, perhaps you are now in the position to help and encourage those closest to you to also prepare themselves for their last season of life.
Practical: This category holds more items than can be captured here, but I’ll add a few to hopefully get you thinking. Of utmost importance is having a will or estate plan that is written out and provides instructions on how the Lord has led you to distribute your assets. Be sure to consider owned properties and how any outstanding loans, such as cars, will be managed. Another way to explore this category is by asking the question, “Is your house in order – literally?” Is the leaky roof repaired? Are you current with any obligations? What’s the state of your picture library? Have you given away the things in which you know your heirs have no interest? Are your taxes paid and necessary paperwork completed? Have you designated who will be in charge when you die? Have you left instructions of where to find important papers, and given someone your list of passwords so they are able to access your accounts?
Ending Well Starts “Now”
Friends, there is also a “now” aspect to ending well, and that is to live your life well. Do that by continuing to be a disciple of Jesus to the end. Walk out your faith, in the hope of blessing and encouraging as many as you can. Be faithful, bold and share your faith all the way through your last days.
When you choose to live your “now” for Jesus, and also prepare well for your “end,” you bring honor to God and serve as an example to your family and loved ones through the whole of your life. Will you choose today to ensure your “house” is in order spiritually, physically, financially, relationally, and practically, doing all to glorify God in all your ways and through all your days?
