Who needs help? I don’t see many hands raised these days in answer to this question. Perhaps that’s due to other questions with which we wrestle within ourselves:
- Isn’t God enough?
- Don’t we have the Internet, our family, and/or the church we attend for help?
- Isn’t seeking help a sign of weakness?
They are good questions; however, I want to begin by addressing the limited show of hands acknowledging a need for help. Because I believe denying our need is a sure sign that we are actually in desperate of help.
Admit Your Need for Help
Today, perhaps more than ever, we must navigate through so many kinds of obstacles. There are relational struggles – within marriage, between parents and kids, among friends and with co-workers. We face health challenges, financial pressures, and career struggles. We wrestle with managing our media exposure, weeding through the politics of the day, and the list goes on and on. Even the most skilled of us are not experts at more than a few of these subjects. This truth leaves us with the reality that we all need help.
Since childhood, I have been influenced greatly by teachers, coaches, older family members and friends. Some of those influences were positive and some, unfortunately, were not. The concept of mentoring differs in that we get to choose who our mentors will be, and that’s worth exploring further.
Tips for Finding a Helpful Mentor
How do we find someone to serve as a mentor to us? Where do we look and how are we to know if a person will be good at filling such a role? I believe a great place to begin searching is to ask those we highly respect who they may recommend. I’m persuaded that while we may be afraid to ask someone to mentor us, many of those we might consider would gladly agree if we had the courage to simply ask.
As for qualifications, a potential mentor should be a person who has a great reputation, is a seasoned believer in Jesus, and has a track record of accomplishment and influence (Titus 2:2). A good mentor will be able to question the decisions we are making and challenge us to ensure our choices are biblically sound. They can also serve as a type of compass to ensure our choices “fit” both who we are and who we want to be.
Successful mentoring requires the establishment of a close relationship. Such a relationship will include a relatively deep and intimate familiarity with the mentee’s strengths and weaknesses. For a mentor to be most effective, they need to be familiar with the struggles, doubts, and fears of the one they are trying to mentor. Above all, absolute honesty between both parties is essential, for the help a mentor can provide extends only as deep as the truths they know. In short, the most quality assistance can only occur when there is complete openness and transparency.
Learn Before You Live
The benefits of having a mentor are many. A key one is the help they provide in keeping us away from mistakes we may be prone to make. As bright as we may be, we still have blind spots that make us unable to clearly see through the circumstances we must process. Yes, we truly all need so much support to navigate our lives well.
Will you act today to intentionally seek out at least one individual, older than yourself, who is able to help you on your journey? Be aggressive in asking for help. Don’t assume busy or successful people don’t have time. Often they are the ones quite willing to make themselves available. There is also no age too young or too old at which to begin engaging with a mentor. I will say, however, that doing it sooner than later will have a significantly beneficial impact in your life. As Ecclesiastes 4:9 tells us, “two are better than one.”
So, I encourage you to make it a priority. Once you’ve selected a mentor, endeavor to meet at least once a week if possible, and then come ready to share your life with that person. It’s an incredibly rewarding adventure that will not only help you navigate the issues of your life, but it will also provide a godly, fulfilling experience for the mentor.
