Planning isn’t the answer to everything we will face in life, but for some things a lack of preparation can create significant, drastic, and even permanent difficulties. Planning for the end of our lives is one of those things. And such planning shouldn’t be considered only in the latter years of life, for it is best accomplished before we reach an age or physical condition that makes it harder.
We at Q4 believe it’s possible to adequately prepare for the final stages of life. And that preparation, or the lack thereof, will either add to the legacy of our lives or detract from whatever level of success and significance we have obtained.
Faith, Friendship and Forgiveness
Before I speak to the many financial aspects of estate planning (which will be in my next blog), I want to first address what I call “soul planning”. First, there is nothing more important – or practical – than settling our eternal estate plan. Are you right with God? Have you confessed your sin and allowed the Lordship of Jesus, God’s chosen Savior, to secure your eternal retirement location? If nothing else gets done, please take care of your soul and ensure you are in right standing with God. That could start as a young child, teenager, or college age. You can’t start too early, but if you neglect your soul, one day it could be too late.
Once you’ve settled that, I encourage you to take inventory of the state of your relationships. Are there family members with whom you need to be reconciled? Are there hurts you have caused and not done enough to properly apologize or make restitution? Are you harboring unforgiveness or resentments for which you haven’t made appropriate effort to reconcile? Are there individuals in your life who have been overwhelmingly supportive and that need to be more adequately thanked or appreciated?
There is wisdom and benefit in taking a relational inventory periodically. Because if you are anything like me, it’s easy to overlook, underthank, and insufficiently communicate to others through the different stages of your life. There aren’t many folks who won’t appreciate receiving an apology or being thanked – no matter how many years may have passed.
In addition, how another responds is not to dictate whether we do the right thing. Jesus is quite clear on the topic of harboring unforgiveness. In short, it’s not an option for a Christian, unless we want to risk being unforgiven for the things we have done. The call of Scripture to forgive as we have been forgiven is a command, not a suggestion (see Colossians 3:13).
“But the Greatest of These Is Love”
In addition, I think it’s worth prioritizing the way in which we love others. Can we love too much? I don’t think so, nor do I think most of us are anywhere close to being too loving. Consider making yourself lists of those for whom you want to intentionally and adequately express your love. Include your Pastors, mentors, coaches, teachers, neighbors and friends, and let them all know that you love and value them. You might think that the closer we get to the end of our lives, the more urgent this is. While I agree on one hand, my challenge is that we never truly know when the “end” may come. As Benjamin Frankilin said, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.”
My final thought on “soul planning” is to ask God to show you if there are people in your life with whom you haven’t adequately shared the plan of salvation. Yes, this is something we should be considering through the whole of our lives, and in my experience, aging only serves to increase the sense of urgency. Just as we don’t know when our life will end, we also do not know how long another may have. Don’t be left with the regret of not sharing God’s love and making known to others the opportunity to experience eternity with Him.
Live Well to End Well
Friends, it’s so important to end well. To die well, starts with living well. When you choose to leave your spiritual and relational affairs in order it is a great gift to your heirs. In contrast, not addressing such issues will result in great heartache and pain. We did a podcast last year on how to live with no regret that could be a helpful resource to you as you consider the “soul” issues you may need to address (https://myq4impact.org/18-limiting-our-regret/).
I am personally striving to do all the things about which I have just written. My goal is to leave this world having taken care of everything I can. I want to be an example to my kids and grandkids, and to all those I have known, of how life is meant to be lived.
Yes, these things will take work, and all of us need help. But it sure is worth it! If you don’t know where or how to begin, please reach out to me. I have friends I can recommend for advice and for coaching and accountability.
Will you get after what is still undone in your own soul planning so that you can ensure you leave your family with only happy memories, respect, and admiration for someone who lived and died well? If you do, I can promise you no regrets for doing so.
